Sunday, December 6, 2015

Equal Partnerships in Marriage

In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. 

What does an equal partnership entail?

Sometimes there can be a misunderstanding of equality, especially when it seems like the world is trying to redefine what equality means (I'm not posting this blog as a debate, but to reflect what I conceive as current beliefs and practices of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints).  Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin, a former leader in the Church, has taught:

"The Lord did not people the earth with a vibrant orchestra of personalities only to value the piccolos of the world.  Every instrument is precious and adds to the complex beauty of the symphony.  All of Heavenly Father's children are different in some degree, yet each has his own beautiful sound that adds depth and richness to the whole."

That is to say equality doesn't need to be connected with "identity".  While each of us is to strive to be of "one heart and one mind" we don't all need to be identical--we each bring in our own beautiful sound to the world and the same goes for a marriage or a family.

A husband and a wife, while they have different roles in the family and in a marriage are to bring together their talents, their abilities, and to work in unison to raise their children and to build a prosperous home.  They are to be equally yoked together with the Savior and to trust and communicate with each other.

Is the man to rule over the woman?

A man ruling over a woman violates partnership and equality but the question is valid.  In the Garden of Eden God gave unto Adam a helpmeet, Eve, and was given dominion.

Elder Earl C. Tingey has said:

"You must not misunderstand what the Lord meant when Adam was told he was to have a helpmeet.  A helpmeet is a companion suited to or equal to us.  We walk side by side with a helpmeet, not one before or behind the other.  A helpmeet results in an absolute equal partnership between a husband and a wife.  Eve was to be equal to Adam as a husband and wife are to equal to each other."

A man and a woman are both given a equal and shared reward at the last day, if they are worthy:  That of every blessing that God the Father has.  At the very end they are equal, but different--different in their humor, in their way of going about things, but equal in dominion, power, and intelligence.

Teachings from leaders of the Church:

"There is not a president or a vice president in a family.  We have co-presidents working together eternally for the good of their family," (Elder L. Tom Perry).

"Every father is to his family a patriarch and every mother a matriarch as coequals in their distinctive parental roles," (President James E. Faust).

"In some cultures, tradition places a man in a role to dominate, control, and regulate all family affairs.  That is not the way of the Lord.  In some places the wife is almost owned by her husband, as if she were another of his personal possessions.  That is a cruel, mistaken vision of marriage encouraged by Lucifer that every priesthood holder must reject.  It is founded on the false premise that a man is somehow superior to a woman.  Nothing could be farther form the truth," (Elder Richard G. Scott).


As husband and wife come closer to God, they come closer to each other.

Prayer in Family Life

Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.


Prayer in Family Life

The Lord, as He spoke to His followers in ancient America (about 33AD) taught His disciples:

"Pray in your families unto the Father, always in my name, that your wives and your children may be blessed." (3 Nephi 18:21)

There is a lot of doctrine that can be covered while going over prayer, so, to simplify things I'll link the Church's webpage on it:

Prayer

In one of his talks on a happy home, President Thomas S. Monson (the current leader of the Church) described the counsel he received on his wedding day:

"May I offer you newlyweds a formula which will ensure that any disagreement you may have will last no longer than one day?  Every night kneel by the side of your bed.  One night, Brother Monson, you offer the prayer, aloud, on bended knee.  the next night you, Sister Monson, offer the prayer, aloud, on bended knee.  I can then assure you that any misunderstanding that develops during the day will vanish as you pray.  You simply can't pray together and retain any but the best of feelings toward one another."

Prayer is critical to a well functioning, loving, family life for the children as well as the parents.

Praying in Faith

This is a topic that I am obsessed with--it's that you can't just kneel down on bended knee, get up, and expect your very wish to be granted.  God isn't some magical genie and He won't move our feet with us.  Scriptures in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints teaches us:

"And the Spirit shall be given unto you by the prayer of faith," (Doctrine and Covenants 42:14).

A prayer of faith is one that is consecrated by action--which is the embodiment of faith.  With that being said, if you pray to love your children more, you're going to have to start doing small things to start loving them more.

Prayer and Scripture Study

Elder Richard G. Scott, a current leader of the Church, taught:

"If you want to talk to God, pray.  If you want God to talk to you, read the scriptures."

God has commanded His children to pray individually and as a family every morning and night and He has also given the commandment to read the scriptures individually and as a family--and why is this so?

Because our prayers are often answered as we read the scriptures and seek to hear His voice through His Spirit.